[ASLM] mary's (and misfit's) dads

[m***@spiritone.com]

My thoughts are with you as well. I know what it's like to have
that mixed feeling of loss and relief for the end of suffering/loss
of quality of life. Sending strength to you and your mom.

same here, mary. i'm sorry for your loss. i hope your grieving is
as easy as possible, and that you and your family are able to
support each other through this time.

Thanks, and thanks as well to Miriam, Heather, and Lastoutlaw. I'm
only just now learning how simple expressions of sympathy and
understanding can ease one's pain. I'm still weepy, especially today
which was my first day back to work, but hugs I got from co-workers
also helped.

yeah, you really don't realize how effective such little acts are until you're on the
receiving end -- for all those who think "I don't know what to say!" It really doesn't matter
much what you say, just that you say something to acknowledge what's going on.

Mary, I'm glad to hear you have supportive co-workers.

my dad has been in the hospital for over a week now, in very serious
condition. last tuesday, we were told to say our goodbyes ... but
he has rallied once again, and i think he's going to weather the
latest crisis. with congestive heart failure, it's just a matter of
time.

Oh man, Ms Fit, I know it's gotta be rough, especially after what you
had to go through with the loss of your mother. It's amazing what the
human body can go through and keep hanging on. Even after they
unplugged the ventilator and then 7 hours later figured out they
needed to turn off his pacemaker, Dad held on another 8 hours. We
assume that means the bypass worked well, and it was the massive
strokes during surgery which did him in.

oh my dears {{{{{{{{{{{{{{mary}}}}}}}}}}} I'm sorry it was such a long process -- once you
make that hard decision you really don't want to have that drawn out thing happen.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{misfit}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} hang in there china. I know you have a wonderful
and loving family, all who must be going through one of the roughest times of your lives.
My thoughts are with you all.

You know, I've helped w/births, and I work with people who are dying, and it is so clear
that these two great transitions are so much out of our hands. Just like a baby is born
when it, and its spirit and whatever other powers are involved are ready, same with
dying. I can't tell you how many times I was sure someone was going to pass on my shift
only to find them still holding onto life when I came back 2,3 days later -- it is such a
lesson to the rest of us -- especially us control freaks -- in letting go and just being:
being present, being in the moment, and simply bearing witness with our love and
caring.

Strength, support, nurturing (be sure to take care of yourself as best you can as well as
all of those around you), compassion and love all winging your way my dear friend.

misfit

sometimes i hate being a grown-up, you know?

yeah, it can suck, but don't forget that while you're being that grown-up, it's ok to let
some of the kid out too -- share silly stories, be a little outragous -- don't care what
others think, just do what you need to to get through these hards times.

miriam arachne/mirjami lukki
feet about to slip into work clogs

[Devra]

[lots and lots of stuff]

miriam, i just wanted to state here that you say the best stuff.

meanwhile, hugs to both mary and misfit

<<<<<<<cool coz>>>>>>>>>>
<<<<<<<soul sister>>>>>>>>

dev
nothing more i can add feet

[Mary McCool]

Post by m***@spiritone.com

I'm only just now learning how simple expressions of
sympathy and understanding can ease one's pain.

yeah, you
really don't realize how effective such little acts are until
you're on the receiving end -- for all those who think "I don't
know what to say!" It really doesn't matter much what you say,
just that you say something to acknowledge what's going on.

That's exactly right. I don't know what everybody has said to me, but I can tell you
which of my co-workers have not even bothered to ask me how I am this week and
how much it meant to me to get cards from friends who didn't know my dad but
noticed his obit in newspapers in different areas of the state and sent me a card.
The acknowledgement is what matters.

Mary
feet tiptoeing back to normal